Reality Television has become a weird phenomenon in the most recent years. It’s also found this unsettling way of imitating actual reality in peculiar fashion — often to the horror of those watching the real life parallels. I guess that provides a lot of the appeal in these shows — the viewer being able to say “Yeah my life is kind of like that, less money but also way less chaotic” in an endearing sort of way. However, at times those lines can tend to get a bit too blurry for all of us. Close your eyes for just a second….now imagine you are in a happy care-free world as a Black Person living in a “Post-Racial Society” — where we have a open white supremacist as president, unarmed black people being murdered by police live on camera with no repercussions, and the looming threat of a Klan Rally popping up at a confederate monument near you (and yes, there probably is one near). Now in this imaginary yet familiar place, you would think that the LAST individual you would have to worry about would be a fellow Black Person. We all we got, right? Fighting a system of white supremacy that controls every facet of life in our nation, no African-American would ever actively work against moving us all forward!
Take another second, A deep breath, maybe even a seat….
Now open your eyes.
I’d like to Welcome you to 2017 in the Capital City of The State Of Indiana —— And This Is The Real House Negroes Of Indianapolis (Cooning In The Nap!)
Reverend Charles Harrison
This program would not complete without the man himself — The Minister of “Massa”, The Prophet of Pimping, And leader of The Tap-Dancin’ Coalition. Charles Harrison has rightfully been called many things for many reasons. A recent piece from a local activist called him “The Most Dangerous Black Man in Indianapolis“, The Vice President and The White House calls him a friend, this website itself has called him many things other than a Child of God. It is arguable — and definitely argued — if Harrison’s organization actually has the miraculous ability to stop murders in segments of the city like they claim . One could even argue that when Bruno Mars had a late night Waffle House Run and Photoshoot off of the corner of 21st and Post Road, that he managed to walk more dangerous Indy Neighborhoods in the middle of the night than the Ten Point Coalition had in years. There is apparently data that supports all of these things. The Reverend is the star of this show regardless. Holding hands with the Vice President of a White Supremacist Administration, openly advocating laws targeting Black Men such as Stop-and-Frisk, Indiana State Senate Bill 279 — which would have sent juveniles to adult court for simple possession of a handgun, and throwing luncheons that cost thousands to attend for that aforementioned White Supremacist Presidential Administration — you know, the one currently scaling back civil rights protections, and remilitarizing a police force already slaughtering unarmed civilians. All of that gets his name listed at the top of these credits
A lot of people who are somewhat familiar with the
Coonicals Chronicles of Jason Whitlock respond in awe when told that he was born here in Indianapolis. At some point I believe this was more well known than it currently is, but often the brain erases traumatic experiences from our mind over time, so it still catches a lot of people by surprise. Googling the term “Indianapolis disowns Jason Whitlock’ will point you to an article from Blavity describing how this came into place. In the past year, Whitlock has doubled down on all of his Coonery by becoming the National Spokesman of the crusade against Colin Kaepernick and all of those who support his demonstration against Police Brutality. He has ironically referred to Kaepernick with such terms as “Attention Whore” “A Bad Role Model For Kids” and “Stupid” for kneeling during the national anthem during NFL games. Most recently Jason, with all 12 of his neck rolls, slithered onto Fox News to accuse Kaepernick and his supporters of trying to “shakedown the league”. I totally don’t expect you to be able to get through the video I am about to link of this incident, so I’ll sum it up with a quote from Whitlock from it……. “Massah ‘Sho Been Gud To Us” “Football has been incredibly good to African-American Men”
The local Queen of Cooning has fallen a bit out of the public eye recently, but her body of work still puts her in the upper-echelon. Now I might face a bit of backlash for this selection for a few reasons 1) Sage Is Mixed and never actually has referred to herself as a black woman, even going out of the way NOT to do so. 2) Sage grew up in Carmel, not Indianapolis — and for a Black Person venturing north of 96th Street can be the equivalent of backwoods Mississippi. A proud graduate of Indiana University, Sage “All Lives Matter” Steele has been notable in recent times for getting Removed from ESPN’s NBA Countdown, being dragged through the streets of twitter for her social media anti-black rants on “Diversity” and Airport Protests, and blasting Kaepernick and other black NFL players protesting police brutality with this hilariously sad take on her definition of “Democracy” being a white man kneeling at a military grave.
— Sage Steele (@sagesteele) November 14, 2016
Out of all the people on the list, Abdul-Hakim Shabazz will take the most delight in his name making the cut. When we released our previous piece on Shabazz, entitled “Black Face, White Supremacist” — detailing his history of speaking down on and mocking the black community of Indy — he happily posted and shared the story on his Facebook page like a badge of honor. In the comment section, scores of lily-white followers and readers of his work responded to each other in shock at the thought that their collective “Black Friend” wasn’t as down with the bros as they thought. That wasn’t enough, Shabazz immediately took to the local airwaves of 93.1 WIBC to dedicate an entire segment to the article. He often speaks out against what he calls “Social Justice Warriors” who make it hard for good, well-behaved, Black Men like himself to Shuck-N-Jive in peace. He has criticized those attempting to hold the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department accountable for the murder of unarmed Aaron Bailey, One of the most vocal supporters of the star of this show, Charles Harrison, Shabazz can often be seen as the token black man photographed in a room full of white folk, cracking a smile bigger than the Kool-Aid Man, looking like he’s ready to break out a tap dancing routine that would put Sammy Davis Jr to shame. Shabazz would not be as big of a co-star to this show if he wasn’t given a platform by local entities such as The Indianapolis Recorder to have his articles headline their publications. Congratulations Shabazz, you should be able to milk this article as well — because in the days of Trump Nation’s open white supremacy, Cooning is rumored to not be paying what it used to.
The Real House Negroes of Indianapolis are a collective force of the most White-Supremacist Collaborating, Black People-Slandering, self serving, Stockholm Syndrome Having Black-Folks from around these parts. This list was put together after much deliberation, and if you didn’t make the cast this season there’s still a shot for the next — if it doesn’t get cancelled (which we all should hope it does).
- Honorable mentions include Indiana Black Expo and their president Tanya Bell, who have done their best to ruin and make the once prominent Summer Celebration completely irrelevant, and cohosting the Mike Pence / Ten Point Luncheon.